Being a Beginner is A Beautiful Thing
When thinking about my art lately, I have been feeling the pressure. The pressure to be able to just jump into being good at it, and producing the things that I envision in my head. I’m like this with a lot of things, I just expect things to “poof!” be ready, and good to go. Today, I need to remind myself that my art journey is just that, a journey. I am a beginner, and that's a beautiful thing.
It got me thinking though, why are we so quick to want to jump to results? Why do we want things so quickly? As a society here in the US, I think we value the destination more than the journey, and when that happens we miss out on all of the good things in life, all of the people and moments worth being in and around. I think this is why the rates of anxiety and depression have skyrocketed and why suicide is one of the number one killers in the world. We have been striving for the final product and destination while feeling stuck and not good enough on our journey. I'm being reminded everyday that I do art, to be present in the moment, and enjoy being a beginner.
Now part of this pressure I’m feeling is because I’m in a really bad spot financially. It feels like I need to be successful NOW so that I can actually be considered a successful human and be in a better situation. A financially secure human, a human that's secure and free to pursue her business and art ideas. I need to accept and remind myself that that's not me right now, and it probably won't be for a very long time. The best thing I can do at this moment is to trust the process of becoming. To trust that if I put in the time and the effort, I can get to where I want to be, and still enjoy my journey along the way.
I know that my time to be a flourishing artist will come.
It's just not right now.
Right now for me it's about putting in the work and developing the discipline to become who I’m meant to be. To continue to create myself.
So to everyone out there who feels uncomfortable or like they are not where they want to be in their life or their goals and wants to rush the process, who feels like they need to be producing at the level of a professional but is still in the journey of becoming, remember - you are right where you need to be. Be at peace, and know, remind yourself, you are EXACTLY where you need to be. There is beauty in being a beginner.